I Support the Writers Guild of America

Ted Nugent Threatens Hillary Clinton + Barack Obama

"I was in Chicago last week - I was in Chicago and I said, 'Hey Obama! You might wanna suck on one of these you punk!'

(unintelligable) ...Obama, he's a piece of shit and I told him to suck on one of these, so let's hear it for him."

"When I was in New York I said -- I said hey Hillary, you may wanna ride one of these into the sunset you worthless bitch!".

PREDICTION

Thank you, Helen Thomas

tick tock, baby

BBC NEWS: First Notes For 639-year Composition

The first notes in the longest and slowest piece of music in history, designed to go on for 639 years, are being played on a German church organ on Wednesday.

The three notes, which will last for a year-and-a-half, are just the start of the piece, called As Slow As Possible.

Composed by late avant-garde composer John Cage, the performance has already been going for 17 months - although all that has been heard so far is the sound of the organ's bellows being inflated.

The music will be played in Halberstadt, a small town renowned for its ancient organs in central Germany.

It was originally a 20-minute piece for piano, but a group of musicians and philosophers decided to take the title literally and work out how long the longest possible piece of music could last.

They settled on 639 years because the Halberstadt organ was 639 years old in the year 2000.

One Way Ticket to Darfur

NEW YORK In a postscript to his regular New York Times column on Tuesday, Nicholas Kristof reveals that he has raised almost three-quarters of a million dollars from readers to send Fox News host Bill O'Reilly to troubled Darfur.

Kristof, embroiled in a public feud with O'Reilly, launched a pledge drive recently with this end in mind, and reports today that he has been "deluged by 6,675 pledges, averaging a bit more than $100." The grand total comes to $727,568, "so Mr. O'Reilly will be able to fly first class with the very best satellite phones and fill his water bottles with San Pelegrino."

O'Reilly has called Kristof's pledge drive "simply a gimmick, a ploy, to bring my name to his passion."

Million Dollar Baby

Mr. Gallo maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark complexions. Though a fan of Franco Harris, Derek Jeter, Lenny Kravitz and Lena Horne, Mr. Gallo does not want to be part of that type of integration. In fact, for the next 30 days, he is offering a $50,000 discount to any potential female purchaser who can prove she has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes. Anyone who can prove a direct family link to any of the German soldiers of the mid-century will also receive this discount. Under the laws of the Jewish faith, a Jewish mother would qualify a baby to be deemed a member of the Jewish religion. This would be added incentive for Mr. Gallo to sell his sperm to a Jew mother, his reasoning being with the slim chance that his child moved into the profession of motion picture acting or became a musical performer, this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar.

When The President Talks To God

When the President Talks To God

When the president talks to God
Are the conversations brief or long?
Does he ask to rape our women's rights
And send poor farm kids off to die?
Does God suggest an oil hike
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Are the consonants all hard or soft?
Is he resolute all down the line?
Is every issue black or white?
Does what God say ever change his mind
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Does he fake that drawl or merely nod?
Agree which convicts should be killed?
Where prisons should be built and filled?
Which voter fraud must be concealed
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
I wonder which one plays the better cop
We should find some jobs. the ghetto's broke
No, they're lazy, George, I say we don't
Just give 'em more liquor stores and dirty coke
That's what God recommends

When the president talks to God
Do they drink near beer and go play golf
While they pick which countries to invade
Which Muslim souls still can be saved?
I guess god just calls a spade a spade
When the president talks to God

When the president talks to God
Does he ever think that maybe he's not?
That that voice is just inside his head
When he kneels next to the presidential bed
Does he ever smell his own bullshit
When the president talks to God?

I doubt it
I doubt it

azerbic: Toronto Star Launches Blog with Antonia Zerbisias

A Man-Made Tsunami

Of course it's wonderful to see the human race rallying to the aid of disaster victims, but it's the inconsistency that has me foxed. Nobody is making this sort of fuss about all the people killed in Iraq, and yet it's a human catastrophe of comparable dimensions.

According to the only scientific estimate attempted, Iraqi deaths since the war began number more than 100,000. The tsunami death toll is in the region of 150,000. Yet in the case of Iraq, the media seems reluctant to impress on the public the scale of the carnage.

[SNIP]

I haven't seen many TV reporters standing in the ruins of Falluja, breathlessly describing how, in 30 years of reporting, they've never seen a human tragedy on this scale. The Pope hasn't appealed for everyone to remember the Iraqi dead in their prayers, and MTV hasn't gone silent in their memory.

Nor are Blair and Bush falling over each other to show they recognise the scale of the disaster in Iraq. On the contrary, they have been doing their best to conceal the numbers killed.

[SNIP]

What is so odd is the way in which so much of the media has fallen into line, downplaying the only authoritative estimate of casualties in Iraq with the same unanimity with which they have impressed upon us the death toll of the tsunami.

[SNIP]

So, are deaths caused by bombs and gunfire less worthy of our pity than deaths caused by a giant wave? Or are Iraqi lives less worth counting than Indonesian, Thai, Indian and Swedish?

Why aren't our TV companies and newspapers running fundraisers to help Iraqis whose lives have been wrecked by the invasion? Why aren't they screaming with outrage at the man-made tsunami that we have created in the Middle East? It truly is baffling.

Animal Farm

Once the minority of [the] House and Senate are comfortable in their minority status, they will have no problem socializing with the Republicans. Any farmer will tell you that certain animals run around and are unpleasant, but when they've been fixed, then they are happy and sedate. They are contented and cheerful. They don't go around pissing on the furniture and such.
-- Grover Norquist, rightwinger and president of Americans for Tax Reform, gloating to the Washington Post's Richard Leiby, November 5, 2004

Two Nations -- Under God -- Divisible

Only in America could someone win by less than than 1 percent and say that he had a mandate from the country.
-- Andrew Vachss, Nov. 4/04 Salon.com

____________________________

We've won. Winning means not having to say you're sorry... Those who didn't support Bush can go and perform a certain anatomically impossible act. They lost, now they can sit in the back of the bus. Thank God Almighty.
-- Adam Yoshida, Nov. 3/04

____________________________

Last night, the voice of the people was heard. I promise not to imitate it, out of respect for the mentally retarded. -- Lewis Black, "Correspondent" for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Nov. 4/04

Maher's Attacks

CALLER: A question for Bill. Bill, it's been reported that Saddam Hussein's handgun that was taken off of him when he crawled out of his hole over there is now adorning the walls in the Oval Office. What's your opinion on something like that?

LARRY KING: I think it's in a side -- private room off the Oval Office.

BILL MAHER: well, Bush said he'd disarm Sadaam. We thought the weapons would be a little more substantial than that.

That's typical of President Bush -- the symbolism, not really policy stuff but the symbolism.

What I'm more concerned about is his dog is also on Lynndie England's leash. And that, I think is very disturbing.

CALLER: Hi, Larry. Hello, Bill, how are you?

MAHER: How are you doing?

CALLER: Good. Thank you. You're super.

If you were given the opportunity to become president today, what are the three major problems you would take care of immediately -- aside from Cheney, Rumsfeld and Rice?

KING: We have 45 seconds. Three problems, solve them, president Maher.

MAHER: Well, first of all, it's safety. I mean, President Bush is running on the idea "I have made you safer". Just those pictures from Abu Ghraib Prison have not made us safer.

I heard him say today, "well, our critics say we stirred up a hornet's nest, that nest was already stirred up".

To a degree that nest was stirred up.

But if millions of young Arab men now say "I'm going to sign up for Jihad, because this is exactly what I thought would happen: the Christian Army would come over to Iraq and take pictures of us and point at our wieners, and now I am going to war" -- that's how he's made us safer.

KING: On that note, thank you, Bill. President Maher speaks.

Summer Slowdown

The scenery varies according to where you are. It's at least as true in the States as it is here, you know? Find yourself in one of nature's gorgeous panoramas: pick a direction and go a few miles, and you'll soon run into a strip mall full of pawn shops, gun stores, junk yards, and topless bars, with trash flying around in the parking lots and snot-nosed shoeless kids running around in front of board-windowed shacks out back. Go another few miles, and there's a meticulously landscaped corporate campus nestled against a golf course.

The fact is that I've seen very little of Baghdad. I've seen the bombed out airport because I'm practically right next to it. I've seen some pieces of highway at high speeds, and it hasn't been much of a surprise: there are trash-strewn ghettos here, magnificent monuments there. Sounds like St. Louis, right?

Every place has its own unique character, but it's also true that there are commonalities. Every city has its gated communities and its slums. American cities all have their American-ness, but you also hear people say, "oh, such-and-such American city has such a European flavor," or that some far-flung place has an American flavor. Most of San Antonio feels like Mexico. Victoria, British Columbia, is said to be more English than any place in England. It's interesting for me to hear people say, "I can't believe what we saw on that convoy-- this country smells like shit!" Hey, guess what: there are places in America that smell like shit. Ever been to a landfill?

Kandahar is a jewel left in the elements too long. Like the beautiful little girl with the scarred face I met a lifetime ago, enchanting and heart breaking. I thought of her on the drive. Why couldn’t I find her again? Take care little angel, for you life can only get better.

Ignore at Your Own Peril

"While choking on some alcohol...... Chance tries to say "Chance the gardener". Eve mistakenly interprets this as 'Chauncy Gardener'. Suddenly, Chance has a full name.


His only contact with the outside world has been through the countless television sets located all around the house.

This long term isolation might account for his rather low level of intelligence, about the same as someone who is mentally handicapped and/or autistic. He's as friendly -- and as dumb -- as a lamb, never fully aware of the events that occur around him.

Basically, Chance only talks about what he knows: television and gardening.

But everyone around him interprets this as his own personal philosophy about life, the economy, politics and love. Suddenly, Chauncy is the talk of the country, a recently discovered genius, and a much needed boost to the nation's morale.

Some people try to discover Chance's origins and true intentions, and completely miss the obvious.

Other people are simply happy to be around him, and soak up his simple and straightforward approach to life."

"...we're a hard country to defend".

Show Us The Jobs

"So Help Me God"

“I welcome these Hearings because of the opportunity they provide to the American people to better understand why the tragedy of 9/11 happened and what we must do to prevent a re-occurence.

I also welcome the hearings because it is finally a forum where I can apologize to the loved ones and the victims of 9/11.

(Turning around to acknowledge the surviving family’s of the 9/11 victims seated behind him)

To those here in the room,
to those who are watching on television:
your government .... failed you,
those entrusted with protecting you .... failed you,
and I .... failed you.

We tried hard.
But that doesn’t matter, because we failed.
And for that failure, I would ask, once all the facts are out,
for your understanding,
and for your forgiveness.”

Reclaiming the "L" word

The O’ Franken Factor: 12:00-3:00pm
After debunking right-wing propaganda in his bestselling books Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them and Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot, Al Franken is taking the fight to America's airwaves--and he's doing it drug-free. With his co-host, veteran radio personality Katherine Lanpher, Franken will deliver three hours a day of fearlessly irreverent commentary, comedy, and interviews. Franken and Lanpher have a mean streak a smile wide. The O'Franken Factor will energize fans, infuriate liars, and deliver the truth--in what Al Franken likes to call the "Zero Spin Zone".

Has He No Shame?

"Democrats always want to fall in love with a candidate, and Republicans just want to fall in line. We've got to fall in line with whoever our nominee is."

Killing the Music?

WHITE STRIPES (The Greek Theatre): After watching this show, I was a bit confused! The two of them are at such different musical levels, they sometimes seem like they're in two separate groups. For instance, the girl seems like she's doing perfectly fine drumming in her Half-Retarded Make-Believe Band. And then he has to spoil it all by playing loud, proficient rock and roll over it!